


"You always felt like home."

by melanietrancy



Category: Marriage Story (2019)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Shamelessly self-indulgent, god i just love domestic cuteness with charlie barber okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:55:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24294706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melanietrancy/pseuds/melanietrancy
Summary: Prompt #44: "You always felt like home."You had been almost scared to take it any further, as if you would somehow miss-step and ruin it for the both of you. But with the way Charlie looked at you, the way his eyes betrayed just how much he cared for you?All you felt was safe.
Relationships: Charlie Barber/Reader, Charlie Barber/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	"You always felt like home."

‘Eleven p.m.

Who in their right mind pounded on someone’s door at eleven fucking p.m?’

It was the only thing that flew through your mind as you raced from your bedroom to your front door, desperate to shut whoever it was up before they woke up your entire building. Annoyance had you yanking it open much harsher than you meant to, the door almost crashing into the wall behind it. It all melted into concern when you saw Charlie standing in your doorway.

He was drunk. If it hadn’t been obvious enough from his disheveled state, the smell of alcohol that practically suffocated you would’ve driven it home. There was a redness around his eyes that had your heart cleaving in half in your chest, and you opened your arms for him to fall into before he could say anything. The moment Charlie melted into your chest, a sob wracked his body so violently that you were worried he wouldn’t be able to draw in another breath. You reached around him blindly to close the door and then leaned back into the wall to support both of you, your hands coming up to hold him closer to you. Charlie buried his face into the crook of your neck and wrapped his arms around your middle tightly, and you could feel his tears soaking into your threadbare shirt.

Charlie had been doing better these past few months. It was finally easier to bring that smile onto his face, the one that made you feel safe and content, like nothing in the world could ever hurt you as long as he was smiling at you like that. The tension between him and Nicole had mostly eased, their relationship slowly but surely improving as they turned their focus to Henry. His latest play run had been a huge success, something that had been the subject of celebration for the past week. To anyone else, it seemed like he was on the up and up, finally doing well after such hardship. Which was true - for the most part. There were still these times when the newness of it all seized in his chest and left him floundering, unable to shake off the fear that consumed him. In those moments, he came to you, relishing in the safety and warmth you always enveloped him in.

It was so overwhelming that Charlie couldn’t even utter a word, instead heaving silent sobs on every exhale. You led him to your couch, and he collapsed into the plush cushions without hesitation. With a bit of maneuvering, you settled to cradle his head in your lap, murmuring to him that he was safe, that he could let it out. That you had him. His hand curled around your wrist, just holding your hand there against his head, so you pressed your fingertips into his skin and gently massaged your way up to card your fingers through his hair. The simple gesture was like an anchor, a tether grounding him to reality, and ever so slowly, the sobs eased into shudders and his breathing only stuttered every so often. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” was the first thing he uttered to you, his words catching tightly in his chest. “I know this is ridiculous, but you always make this so much easier, I don’t -”

“Charlie, breathe. Take a breath.” You hushed him, tilting his head up to look him in his wet red eyes. God damn this beautiful man. You smiled down at him to reassure him that this was what you were here for, that this was what friends did for each other. “You can always come here when you need me - when you need anything. I’m here, I’ve got you. Just...let it out, sweetheart.”

Charlie relaxed into you even further, his hair spread out like a dark halo against the pale pink of your sleeping pants. One of his fingers caught the drawstring that laid in front of his face and curled it absentmindedly. “I miss him so much.” It was almost too low for you to hear, whispered into the few inches between your belly and his mouth. The heaviness in his tone seized your chest, and you ached to do something, anything to take this pain from him, to make him never have to hurt like this again. All you could do was hold him and listen, simply reassure him when it all 

“Oh, Charlie…” Your hands resumed their path of petting through his hair as you let yourself settle further into the couch and you propped your feet up on the coffee table in front of you. Getting comfortable for what was surely going to be a long, painful night. “I know. I know it’s hard.”

“It’s...impossible.” Charlie’s voice is laced with a sadness that was so deep, so heavy, it had tears pricking your own eyes. It killed you to see him like this because if there was one person who deserved the damn world...it was Charlie Barber. But this wasn’t about you, so you simply blinked the tears back and nodded him on. “I used to see Henry every single day, and now I’m lucky if I see him a few times a month.”

Charlie launched into an entire rant, his face tinging pink in his anger. You didn’t comment, simply nodding him on. He didn’t need to hear empty promises that it would all work out. He needed to be heard, for his fears and pain to be acknowledged. He told you everything. His fears that Henry would grow to hate him. How he couldn’t stop imagining the millions of ways he could be inadvertently hurting his child. How sometimes the anger became so heavy that he thought it would suffocate him. The part that had you finally piping up was how he talked about himself. There were so many ways to describe Charlie Barber, but stupid? That wasn’t one of them. 

“Well, can I tell you what I think?” You murmured at him after he fell silent for a few beats. Charlie paused, his eyes welling with fear and pain, and nodded. “I think that you are going through one of the hardest things that a person can go through, and you’re dealing with it the best you can. You’re doing everything you can to make the best out of all of this. You aren’t being impulsive, you aren’t putting yourself or anyone else in harm's way. You came to a friend and talked it out, cried it out. When my parents got divorced, I was around Henry’s age and my dad just...didn’t try. He figured the fight wasn’t worth it and he gave up. But you? Charlie, every choice you make, you make it based on what’s best for Henry. Despite every hit that comes your way, you’re trying so hard to make the best of it. That isn’t stupid, Charlie. That’s brave.” 

Charlie stared up at you, his eyebrows pinched together slightly. A shot of panic rushes you, terrified you’ve said the wrong thing, until, “Why does everything make so much more sense when it comes out of your mouth?”

You couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled at his words and something bloomed deep in you at the small smile he managed. “Maybe it’s the years of therapy actually paying off for once.” 

The bark of laughter that left Charlie only made you smile even wider, your hand coming down to cup his jaw lightly. Neither of you said anything. The air around you shifted into something heavier, something that weighed with promise. Your heart was pounding so hard you were sure he could hear it, but you were too lost in the deep hazel of his eyes to care. Too quickly for your tired brain to process, Charlie sat upright to crowd you even further into the couch, his lips finding yours in a crushing, desperate rush. You gasped in surprise and a low moan followed, your hand curling through his hair to press him closer. His lips were tender and dry, so soft against yours. The sounds he pulled from you only spurred him on, one of his huge hands settling on the side of your neck. Charlie was warm and firm - 

\- And drunk, and incredibly heartbroken. God, no matter how much you wanted this, how long you had waited, you couldn’t take advantage of him, of his pain and need for love. You pushed him back gently, your chest aching at the loss of his touch. You took a moment to catch your breath before looking back at him, and the sight before you had you almost giving in and tackling him with all of your affection. Charlie was panting slightly, his lips slick and eyes full of affection and fear. “You have no idea how badly I want to go there with you, but you’re not in the right mindset for this.”

“No, no, I swear, this isn’t some drunken whim, I promise -”

“I know, I know.” You sighed, your heart still racing in your chest. “We can’t start like this, Charlie, with you drunk and overwhelmed and me so exhausted that I can’t even see straight. I promise you that when you’re sober and well-rested I will let you kiss me until you can’t breathe. But for now, you’re sleeping this off.”

Charlie wanted to protest, you could tell by the look in his eyes, but he knew better than to enter a battle of the wills with you. He acquiesced, probably only thanks to your promise. It took far less effort than you were expecting, getting his huge frame up and into your bed. You managed to get him down to his undershirt and briefs, tucked into your bed, and completely dead to the world within ten minutes, something you considered a personal achievement. You know better than to take up the space next to him. Not until he was sober, you told yourself. 

So instead, you grabbed your blanket and made do with the couch, almost mourning that Charlie had managed to curl himself around your pillow. It wasn’t as if this was exactly new between you and Charlie. The kissing was, sure, but even before he was divorced, there was this...pull that neither of you would give in to. You couldn’t lie, you had been so ashamed of yourself for even feeling that attraction to a married man. There was no justifying it to yourself, even if their marriage was failing. You loved Nicole, you loved Henry. You couldn’t let your love for Charlie destroy them, there would be no forgiving yourself. Instead, you relished in simply being their friend, in being a good, supportive friend and even better occasional babysitter. 

And then Nicole and Charlie divorced, and Nicole moved to L.A. with Henry, leaving you and Charlie both with an opening. The affectionate gazes turned into lingering touches, turned into one strange bout of totally strictly platonic half-drunk cuddling a few weeks ago. You had been almost scared to take it any further, as if you would somehow miss-step and ruin it for the both of you. But with the way Charlie looked at you, the way his eyes betrayed just how much he cared for you?

All you felt was safe.

\------------------------------

It was the unmistakable sound of heaving that drew you from your dream state. You sat up, wincing at the twinge in your back thanks to your godforsaken couch. It eased mostly once you gave yourself a good stretch, but you knew it would probably follow you throughout your day. Maybe you could get Charlie to work it out for you, you thought with a smirk. Though he wasn’t in the right state to help you now, not if the progressively louder vomiting was any indication.

A glass of water in hand, you rapped your knuckles against the bathroom door before stepping in, taking in the sight of Charlie hunched over the toilet. Sweat had plastered his hair to his forehead and his expression was pinched. You kneeled next to him as you suppressed a smirk, completely ignoring his groaned plea for you to spare him the embarrassment of puking in front of you and instead placing a reassuring hand on his back. Despite his words, Charlie leaned into your touch and hummed happily when you began running your hand up and down his spine. 

“How ya feeling, Barber?” You teased lightly, holding up the glass of water in offering. A grateful smile graced his face as he accepted it and swished a mouthful around before spitting it out. 

“Crappy.” He groaned lowly, the glass clinking against the tile where he set it next to him. “That feels nice, though.”

You only offered a small hum in response and resumed trailing your hand over his back slowly. Settling yourself against the wall comfortably, you stayed and eased Charlie through each round of nausea with gentle touches and quiet encouragement. He leaned back once the heaving finally subsided, the both of you settled against the wall and simply regarding each other. Charlie’s lips pursed, his eyebrows drawn downwards. 

“Look, I’m so sorry if I ruined this...thing between us last night,” His voice was tense, almost trembling with fear. There was no need for him to say it, it was obvious - Charlie was terrified that he was going to lose you now, too, on top of everything else. “I can’t lose you. Not now, not like this, so please, can we just pretend -”

“Charlie, breathe.” It was the feeling of your hands taking either side of his face that finally shut him up, his tear-blurred eyes hesitantly locking with yours. Your thumb trailed over his cheekbone in a feather-light touch and you smiled brightly when he leaned into the caress. This sweet, heartbroken man was going to kill you with his misplaced self-hatred, you swore it. “I made you a promise last night that I am planning on following through with. Once you’ve brushed your teeth, maybe taken a shower, though?” 

Charlie leaned his head back into the wall with a loud groan, a huge smile that gave you butterflies breaking across his face. When his eyes found your face again, there was a playful glint replacing the fear much to your relief. “You’re gonna be the death of me.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that’s why I’m making you breakfast while you freshen up, ‘cause I’m the worst.” You murmured as you climbed to your feet to rifle through your cabinets for a new toothbrush for him. The sight of him looking up at you from the floor had a deep contentment curling through you and you dropped one hand to ruffle his hair lightly, a flare of confidence making you dip down to kiss the crown of his head before slipping out. 

Nerves were bubbling low in your belly as you fluttered about the kitchen, cracking eggs and cutting veggies for some omelets. It was the one thing you made that had Charlie moaning around forkfuls, and you felt like he could use some more uncomplicated happiness. You were sliding the omelet onto a plate when your phone started blaring from the living room, and you almost tripped in your haste to answer it in time. A frown settled on your face when you saw Mary Ann’s name flashing across the screen.

“Hello?”

“Hey, I’m sorry to call out of the blue, but do you know where Charlie is?” She sounded almost frantic, and you mentally facepalmed. Charlie was supposed to be at the theater hours ago, they probably thought he fell on the tracks in the subway or something. 

“Shit, yeah, he’s with me. He, uh, isn’t feeling well. Probably shouldn’t come in today, it’s pretty bad.” You cringed, knowing exactly where Mary Ann’s mind went when you revealed that Charlie was in your home. She didn’t exactly appreciate the bond you shared with her boss. 

Charlie’s hands wrapped around your middle out of nowhere, and you jumped almost comically, Mary Ann’s voice asking what was wrong through the receiver. You took the phone from its place sandwiched against you and held it up to Charlie without saying anything. His chest rumbled against your back as he chatted with her, going on about some mess at the theater, and you relished in it for a moment before tapping on his hand where it was curled around your middle. He let go, ever reluctantly, but smiled down at you when you simply grabbed your coffee creamer from the fridge before returning to him. 

It was as if a floodgate had been opened - suddenly you were able to touch him so freely, intimately without guilt, and you couldn’t get enough. Once you had perfected your coffee, you hopped up to sit on the edge of the counter and simply observed Charlie. There was something intoxicatingly domestic about this. Charlie slowly pacing your kitchen with your phone pressed to his ear, barely dressed, hair still mused with sleep. It felt so easy, as if this was something the two of you did all the time. He smiled at you from the other side of the kitchen when he realized you were staring and slowly made his way to you, uncrossing your ankles with his free hand to settle between your now open thighs. That free hand settled on your outer thigh, thumb lightly tracing over the fabric of your pants as he chattered on about changing lighting for some specific scene. 

You picked up the plate the cooling omelet rested on, cut off a piece, and placed it in front of Charlie’s mouth, waving it slightly with a smile on your face. He accepted it with a playful roll of his eyes, finally ending the call and placing your phone next to you on the counter. 

“Get it all figured out?” You asked around your own mouthful, one of your hands coming to rest over his where it was still rubbing over your thigh gently. “You aren’t going in, right?”

Charlie nodded and plucked your coffee from your hand to steal a sip, grinning down at you when you playfully scowled at him and called him a thief. His hand flipped and encased yours carefully, like he was trying not to startle you. The smile that found your face was brighter than the sun itself, something unfurling in your chest as you leaned into his space and your legs hooked over his to pull him closer. 

“I think I owe you something, Barber.” It came out as a low murmur, your eyes flicking to look at his lips for a moment before returning to his hot gaze. He hummed in agreement and you almost melted at the feeling of his hand cupping the side of your neck. Charlie was so heated, almost like a furnace against you, and the barely-there brush of his lips against yours was just as scorching. You immediately pulled him closer with a quiet almost desperate whine, drawing a moan from him that gave you the perfect opportunity to slide your tongue over his plump lower lip. He tasted like coffee and home. Charlie’s grip on you tightened to clutch you flush against his chest, and you couldn’t help the smile that broke across your face. Charlie pulled away to press his forehead against yours and catch his breath, the smile lines that curved around his mouth making your heart flutter. 

“Let me do this right, let me take you to dinner tonight.” It was almost pleading, as if he thought he had to convince you. “C’mon, we can go wherever you want. We can do...anything you want.”

“You don’t have to plead your case, Charlie, of course I will.” You gave a breathy chuckle, moving to press a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose and then to his lips. His embrace had a warm kind of tranquility settling deep into the core of your very being, like you had finally found your place in the universe. 

Charlie studied your face with an intensity that had you flushing red, his gaze trailing over your features like he was trying to capture this moment in his mind forever. “All this time, no matter what...it’s always been you. **You always felt like home.** ”

The smile that broke across your face was almost painful in its fervor and you pressed yourself to him once more, unable to hold back your absolute need to be flush against his body. You don’t know how long the two of you were there in the kitchen stealing kisses in between bites of breakfast and sips of coffee, but it wasn’t something you would change for the world because this was absolute heaven. 

This was home.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed this fluffy mess, it was shamelessly self-indulgent and I adored writing it.  
> Comments are my fuel!  
> Love you nerds


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